Hey, I’m Keimaya.

I no longer want to live life passively

Peaking out the window, waiting until the coast is clear

I no longer want to tiptoe

Or walk on eggshells

Afraid that I will throw this false illusion of peace and safety off balance

I no longer want to tame my feelings

And desires

Forcing them to keep quiet and walk in a single file line

When deep down they want to riot

I no longer want to run from rebirth

And hoard identities that no longer resonate

I no longer want to live in limbo

A lukewarm oasis due to my fears around deciding

Am I making the right decisions?

Should I be doing “more?”

Will this make me happy?

I no longer want to let not having it all figured out stop me

From saying yes

From having fun

From enjoying myself

From having what I deserve

From pursuing what I truly want

From trial

And error (without the shame and guilt)

I am pulling myself up from a life that told me no too many times

I realize rejection was just a reflection of my inability to see myself clearly

I no longer want to show up as anything less than me

Planting seeds of misalignment and wondering why there are no willow trees

Have you ever been to the south?

I saved you leftovers for later

Treat them like a souvenir you can dust off on occasion and put back on a shelf

The south might seem faded, but it’s vintage and valuable

Despite the pressure to upgrade, the south has been passed down for generations

We have to keep it

It’s a divine reference point

The south stores ancient wisdom

It defies time and space

My ancestors made me the face and the vessel

Have you ever been to the south?

You take a visit every time you look into my eyes

I’m rooted here

And will plant seeds that will sprout into the future generations of healers

The south must be handled with care

But please don’t mistake it for fragile or frail

The south does not yell

It’s the silence that makes it so loud

So strong

So felt, so warm, so influential...so proud

There’s no denying that the south is deep in your bones

Running deep through your veins

The south is like a catalog of last names that got you here

The south came before us and will reign supreme long after our dismissal

Serving as a divine finish line and starting point

The south will keep you young

Despite how old it looks amidst your shelf of technological advancement

The rhythm of the south is something you’ll always dance with

And you won’t overthink your moves because the energy of the south will move you

The south will pull you to places that will chew you up and spit you out

Not as punishment, but as preparation

The south molds us into stars

My grandma’s house always felt like a galaxy

Our communities resemble constellations

I keep getting invitations to have dinner in other dimensions

I know it’s because the south has made me otherworldly

Have you ever been to the south?

I saved you leftovers from the menu of misinterpretation

The south doesn’t have to be understood

Because you will feel it with every footstep

It will follow you everywhere you go

I saved you leftovers from the south

So you’ll always have a piece of home away from home

red lights are not inconveniences

they are beautiful reminders to pause and be present

I inhale my surroundings and exhale any distractions

the sun’s rays serve as mirrors if we allow them to

reflecting us back to us

our vibrancy, our radiance, our fullness if we choose to accept our light

the clouds are pillars of comfort

the trees give us permission to be rooted, grounded, and connected to the path we choose to walk

the rain is cleansing

the exit signs on the interstate give me the reassurance that I can always leave or go in a different direction

the birds spread the word of an infinite and boundless energy that we have access to too

a butterfly meets me at my doorstep with a special delivery

a package of patience

for without dark cocoons and wombs how can anything take the form it’s intended to?

ease up,

we can’t outpace God

if we reek of desperation I’m sure our blessings will smell it

get up,

have some dignity and decorum about yourself

add a dash of patience

a pinch of grace

and top it off with faith

my granny used to say a watched cake never bakes

we don’t have to micromanage God or breathe down his neck

fixating won’t make anything happen faster

maybe his provision is the grown folks business we gotta stay out of

go back to the kiddie table

go play

go enjoy yourself

it’s all working out, so act like it.

I have permission to go at a pace that doesn’t hurt

I can be soft

I can cry myself a river, then swim in it

Floating…as the H20 cleanses my being

Thank you

Do I have to keep telling God the things He already knows?

Am I praying or is this glorified begging?

Help me, God.

I don’t want to drown in the complexity of existing

Swimming in worries as the shoreline teases me

It gets to enjoy the view without being swallowed by it

I hope you learn how to let go and relinquish control

I hope you learn to trust that:

1. it’ll all work out

2. there’s no rush

3. who you desire to be is inherent and nature will run its course…no force needed

I hope you never make an altar out of suffering again

and that you learn how to enjoy good and pure things without thinking there’s a catch or allowing paranoia to rob you of your pleasure

I hope you take more leaps of faith if it means you’ll be more fulfilled

I hope you lose your mind many times

If it means you’ll set yourself free

I hope you come back home to yourself every night

even when it hurts, even when it’s heavy, even when it’s hard

because you can’t abandon you

I hope you spend less time in your head and more time in your heart

in your body

I hope you speak your truth without any shame

I hope you never shrink or dilute yourself again

because if you outshine the sun that’s your prerogative

I hope you stop viewing your intuition as a fluke and lean into the whispers of wisdom

I hope you qualify yourself time and time again

I hope you make your own rules and terms and conditions

I hope when your inner child speaks you stop to listen

and give her permission to color outside the lines

I hope you undress every limiting belief

and that your sowing aligns with the quality of abundance you want to reap

I hope you free yourself from the shackles of your inner critic

I hope you take the little girl within you off of a leash

I hope you allow yourself to be who you actually are instead of who you think you need to be